Discovering a Sense of Resiliency: Walking in This World — Week 9

This chapter showed up exactly when I needed it.

I’ve been feeling a little off lately in a way I’ve had trouble defining. A bit lost, a bit irritable, hopeful, and fearful—all at the same time. I get this way from time to time, when I’m not quite sure what I’m doing and feel like I should have figured it out by now.

Week 9 seemed to be written just for me.

This chapter focused on the negative emotions that can come up along the artistic journey and the ways we can move through what the book describes as the “dark night of the soul”—those periods when things feel uncertain, heavy, or just a little harder than usual.

As I worked through the tasks this week, I kept coming back to the idea of restlessness. It was such a perfect description of what I’ve been feeling lately, and recognizing that actually brought me some relief. Maybe there is something underneath the restlessness that I need to listen to.

Tasks

1. Let the “Reel” Be an Ideal

This creative writing practice asks us to begin at the beginning of our ideal day—one where all of our dreams have come true—and write about it in detail from beginning to end.

This is an exercise, or something similar to it, that I’ve come across many times. I’ve always struggled with it. But somehow, this time felt different. I was able to more easily access what this dream life might actually look and feel like, engaging all five senses as I imagined the day. I actually found myself enjoying the process instead of trying to figure out what I was supposed to write.

2. Admit Your Fears and Open the Door to Help

For this task, I wrote an affirmative prayer. The exercise asked us to single out each negative situation and claim divine intervention and attention on our behalf.

The idea is not so much to ask for help, but to affirm that we are already receiving it. This isn’t a religion-based prayer, but rather follows the more spiritual guidance that runs throughout the book.

3. Find the “Rest” in Restlessness

When I got to this section, a lightbulb went off for me.

“Restlessness” was a perfect way to describe how I’ve been feeling lately, and this section was exactly what I needed to read. The book describes irritability as a flag waved by restlessness, even when we may not know what is causing it.

It also suggests that restlessness can actually be a good omen. Rather than immediately trying to quiet it or push it away, we can follow our gut and listen, allowing ourselves to be led.

The task for this section was to take a five-minute “rest” and simply allow inner leadings to bubble to the surface. Five minutes doesn’t sound like much, but giving myself permission to stop trying to figure everything out and simply listen felt surprisingly helpful.

4. Exactly the Way I Am

This section explored insecurity and the terrible habit we all have of comparing ourselves to others. It asks us to relinquish the idea that our creative dreams are centered in ego and instead allow them to become spiritual adventures.

The task was to list 50 areas of our lives where we have positive feelings about ourselves exactly as we are.

This one was tricky at first. Fifty is a lot when you’re actively looking for things you like about yourself. But once I got going, the list began to flow. It ended up being a really nice reminder of some of the natural talents and qualities I already have, rather than constantly focusing on what I think I’m missing.

5. Take a Little Pity on Yourself

Self-pity falls upon all of us from time to time, and it can easily begin to feel like it’s us against them. Most likely, “them” has very little to do with it.

This was a rapid fill-in-the-blank exercise designed to keep us from overthinking and focused on the positive ways we have acted for ourselves and others.

The goal was to remind ourselves that while we can’t make other people appreciate us, we can practice appreciating ourselves. And sometimes that is much more valuable.

6. Doubt Your Doubts & The Self in Self-Esteem

The final task of the week was twofold.

The first was a reminder of ways to handle doubt when it begins to cast a dark cloud over us. We probably can’t stop doubt from rolling in, but we can become better at recognizing it for what it is—something temporary and not necessarily true.

The follow-up task asked us to list 10 ways we can be selfish when needed. Not selfish in a negative sense, but in ways that allow us to take better care of ourselves and show ourselves some love when doubt starts to creep in.

Artist’s Date

For my Artist Date this week, I let myself stroll around one of my favorite local shops.

It’s not really in my neighborhood, and I always seem to come up with excuses not to go. So after a lovely lunch with a new friend, I made a slight detour on my way home to see what was in the shop at the moment.

It has art, home and clothing and features several local artists, so the space is always inspiring. I didn’t have anything specific I was looking for. I just wanted to wander around and see what caught my attention.

It ended up being exactly what I needed this week.

Weekly Walk

Since I was feeling very much in my own head this week, I kept my morning walks silent and tried to go inward as much as I could.

There is something so calming about walking early in the morning and listening to the birds and the rustling of the trees. It gives me a chance to quiet everything down and get out of my own head for a little while.

And maybe that was the real lesson of this week for me.

I don’t necessarily need to have everything figured out right now. Maybe the restlessness I’ve been feeling isn’t something I need to fix, but something I need to listen to.

Maybe there is something trying to get my attention.