Discovering a Sense of Authenticity: Walking in This World — Week 11
This week focused on personal responsibility in our creativity, self-respect, resilience, and the willingness to start anew. I’m beginning to feel like starting anew is one of my specialties. My first instinct is to blame indecisiveness, but perhaps I need to reframe it more positively. Maybe starting over isn’t always a sign that I don’t know what I’m doing, but a willingness to listen when something no longer feels right and have the courage to begin again.
This week’s tasks and readings happened alongside a short getaway to Sedona. I went there to relax, but I also found myself spending some time nurturing my own beliefs about myself—some that may be holding me back and others that I may not be allowing to push me forward.
Tasks
1. Taking Heart
This task asks us to find things our heart truly loves. “When we trust our hearts, we trust ourselves.” The book asks us to list 50 specific things our hearts love, with the idea that doing so helps us realize what a rich and enjoyable world we live in. If we choose to listen to our hearts, we can create a beautiful life.
As a follow-up, the task also asked us to list 10 examples of creative encouragement we’ve either acted on or ignored, and explore why we responded the way we did and what we could still do with the opportunities we passed up.
This one was interesting for me. I often feel talentless or lost, so naming the things that bring me joy, along with the moments when I received encouragement that I either didn’t believe or chose to ignore, gave me a chance to look at the road not traveled with a little more openness.
Maybe some of those roads aren’t as closed as I thought they were.
2. Pat Yourself on the Back
Integrity is discussed in detail in this chapter, and it’s something I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about lately. Specifically, I want to create something from within without the fear of criticism—or the fear that I’m somehow doing it wrong.
Challenging myself to truly let go and create has been something I’ve been trying to allow myself to do for months now. This chapter talks about committing to our dreams, committing to ourselves, and trusting in the power of the universe.
The task asks us to list 25 things we are proud of. It’s a simple practice, but one that asks us to recognize and honor our own character rather than constantly looking outside ourselves for validation.
3. Ouch! Let Me Make It Better
This exercise was a practice in self-forgiveness and compassion for our creative injuries. It asks that you list 10 creative injuries or disappointments that haven’t properly been grieved or gotten over.
This one was tough for me.
Perhaps because I’ve buried many of these things so deeply. Perhaps because I pride myself on moving forward, so admitting that I’m not actually over something can be difficult.
Whatever the reason, it took me some time to come up with this list. Not because I’ve never experienced criticism—in fact, probably the opposite. I often feel criticized, or like I will be criticized, in some form or another. I’ve carried that feeling with me since I was a child.
Putting specific experiences down on paper forced me to look at some of those wounds in a way I’ve spent a lot of time avoiding. But maybe that’s part of authenticity too—knowing what we love and what we want, but also being honest about the things that have shaped us along the way.
Artist’s Date
I read somewhere this week about how important Artist’s Dates are to the creative process, and I’m still struggling to make them a priority.
It’s mainly the aloneness that I struggle with. I get out and do things regularly, but with the exception of my morning routine, I am rarely on my own.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I spent a few days in Sedona this week. If you’ve ever been, you know there is no shortage of inspiration to be found there. From the scenery to the energy, it really is a magical place.
But I wasn’t alone. In fact, I was lucky enough to be there with some of my favorite people.
So was it technically an Artist’s Date? No.
But it still sparked something inside of me, and I think that’s the important part. Maybe the point isn’t always to follow the rules perfectly. Maybe it’s to pay attention to what makes us feel more alive, curious, inspired, or connected—and then notice where that leads.
Weekly Walk
A few mornings of walking in Sedona were incredibly peaceful. We stayed in a small community with almost no traffic, so my walks were even quieter than usual.
I hiked and visited a few of the vortex sites. Some say the entire area is an energy vortex, so take that however you want.
Whatever you believe, I definitely left feeling a shift.
And maybe that’s what this week was really about for me: paying attention to the shifts.
I still don’t know where this creative journey is taking me. I still question myself. I still wonder if I’m making the right choices, and I still have moments when I feel completely lost.
I’m beginning to wonder, though, if authenticity isn’t about knowing exactly who I am and what I need to do every step of the way. Maybe it’s more about being honest about what feels right and what doesn’t, what has brought me to where I am, and exploring where that can lead me instead of letting it hold me back.
